Christmas in Kerala

After the celebration with the HOJ kids, I went to spend a few days in Bangalore and then we were off on a 10-hour road-trip to Kerala. Thankfully, my parents sent an awesome care package, just in time, with lots of goodies to keep us munching all the way. Christine and I spent some time at Joy’s younger brother’s (Babu) family’s home (whew..that’s a lot of possessive apostrophes). I had met them before, so it was a pleasure to spend more time with them. We all said that it felt like we had known each other for a long time. I spent Christmas Day at their place. For the rest of the time we rested, chatted and did some saree shopping in a nearby city called Ernakalum. After our visit there we headed to Miriam’s family’s house which was in old-style Kerala village near Thrissur. We had to drive through the woods to get there. Since the next day was Miriam’s sisters’ wedding, the family had invited all of the surrounding villagers to their home for a message and dinner. I found it pretty odd (and very generous) that 200+ people who barely knew Miriam’s family were all invited for the celebration. Apparently this is customary and they would get upset if they were not invited over. At the “party” many people would walk by a stare at my white face. In fact many people stared at me while I was in Kerala, even more so than here. And most of the stares were anything but nonchalant. They would actually come and stand a foot away from me, stare me in the face and try to listen in on whatever conversation I was having with someone. It was a little intimidating and sometimes irritating but…what can I do? Below, I have highlighted a few things from the trip, if you care to read more. J

Christmas Day
For Christmas Day Christine and I went with Babu and his family to a Christian conference. It was all in Malayalam and so I didn’t understand a lick of it except for “satan” which one man kept repeating, just in a funny accent. Actually, Christine was gracious enough to translate at least part of the message so I got the general meaning. I was surprised to see a few familiar faces from the ACA at the conference. In the afternoon we returned home, took a nap and then freshened up for a party which was held at their house. Many of their family members came over to celebrate together. I was thankful they all included me in as their adopted family member. We ate a good Indian-style Christmas dinner, sang songs and some did random interpretive dances which were hilarious. Apparently this family likes to put you on the spot and make you perform, so Christine and I were cornered into singing a duet together. It was definitely a different Christmas day but enjoyable none-the-less.

Betty’s Wedding
Betty is Miriam’s sister. Since I’ve been in India I’ve been to a wedding reception, but this was the first actual marriage I have attended. Wow...let me tell you...it is very different in many aspects. First of all no one would be caught dead with the light pink satin curtains and other decorations that adorned the hall. Second, there were not one, not two but three sermons given. Thirdly, the couple sat down next to each other not making eye contact at all. Fourth, we witnessed the first time the couple made contact with each other, which was to hold hands as they said the vows (definitely no kissing). Fifth, the reception was a bit of a spectacle. Chairs and tables were moved into the hall for more than 400 people as they dashed to sit down for their feast while deafening music was being played. So definitely a different experience than I’m used to with American weddings. But what left the biggest impression on me was that marriage is more about commitment than love. It’s something a romantic like me doesn’t want to admit but it’s totally apparent from these arranged marriages. Many of these arranged marriages seem to last longer than “love” marriages because of this. Arranged marriages start out with commitment and grow into love whereas “love” marriages start out with love and grow into commitment. Some may argue this fact, but I think for the most part it’s true. If an Indian lady/young man wants to get married, their parents start a search to find a partner relatively similar in social class, education, character and religion. Once they find a suitable person, the two meet and BAM! a wedding date is set. Sometimes, the couples get married the next day within in meeting one another! This forces them to put full effort into the relationship right from the start and binds them together as they grow closer in love. Witnessing this practice has definitely given me a different perspective.

Mud flaps
As we were driving back home from Kerala we drove through a small village at dusk. Miriam and I noticed a large man herding cows who was wearing two VERY small pieces of cloth. One covering the front and the other the back and they were connected only by a piece of string. Now I’ve seen pictures of men in this rustic attire but never one in person. And since I’ve never seen this in India I didn’t think it was cultural. But then we started to notice them all over! Apparently we were observing outcast dalit farmers. The reason we saw them this time and not on our drive TO Kerala is because it was dusk and they were all returning home from farming the fields. Joy appropriately termed this outfit (if you can call it that) “mud flaps.” I’m not sure why these men can’t sew two slightly larger pieces of cloth together to have full coverage. Maybe as Joy said, they like the airflow or they just are THAT poor that they can’t afford the traditional skirt-like wrap that the other men wear. This experience opened my eyes to a different world. I still cannot believe that with all the technology, infrastructure and other advancements that there are still many people living a “backward” life such as this. Their children play with mud and trash and would not even dream of something such as an X-box or I-pod. I can’t imagine how different our worldviews are. Even though they may seem so distant from the life we are used to, we are all still similar. We have needs, desires, emotions and a deep longing for fulfillment and purpose which only God can give. Please pray with me that God will send a messenger to these people to tell them the good news about His son Jesus!!